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 Ancient Past : chapter one.

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Commander Hawk
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Commander Hawk


Number of posts : 547
Location : Why must you know..?
Registration date : 2010-02-10

Ancient Past : chapter one. Empty
PostSubject: Ancient Past : chapter one.   Ancient Past : chapter one. I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 19, 2010 3:58 pm

A Black jet was going faster than most humans would even dare. It came from Space, heat covering it. It did a nose dive, Swirling around, Behind it, was 5 other jets. A blue Jet also was diving down towards earth. A purple one swirled around like a drill. A red one sped down, passing the blue one. A red and white jet drove down at speeds that defy the speed of sound. A large space shuttle sped from behind them all, all jets in flames.
Humans looked up to the sound of crackling and jet engines, they pionted as they saw 6 jets drill down to earth. The black jet was now at 5,000 feet.
3,000...
200....
once it reached 20 feet above ground it made a sharp turn, and flew faster, flying just above some buildings, The heat and the thrust engines defying the humans. The other jets did the same and followed.
One human even heard laughter from the blue and red one..


The leader of the seekers went to the max and drilled circling into buildings, as the buildings exploded from the slam, the Jets behind the leader went through them as well, Helicopters, and jet planes, started leaving the air base, following the destructive jets.
A loud shrieking noise was heard, humans fell to their sides holding their heads, The jets behind the black Jet separated.
The blue one did a flip, and went behind the human jet, it took out its cannons, and shot, as two blue fire lazers slammed unto the human jet, eating the jet.
The red and white made clones of himself, and confused the helicopter, and a the jet flew above the blades and went to its side, the edge of the wing slicing the copter's tail off.
The purple one flew down, and dodged incoming buildings, a human jet followed, also dodging, two buildings were falling against each other, as the purple jet went side to side and flew out of the hole, the human jet taking peices of debris and exploding.
The red jet flew up, and had a human jet behind him. The jet then let of any fuel, and free fell. The jet slammed nose piont into the cockpit of the human jet and then brought the engines back to life and drilled down at top speeds.
The large space shuttle, had two jets behind him, and kept flying, it teleported behind the human jets, and opened fire on a few missiles.
The leader of the jet, flew above the heads of some buildings, and did a 360, and the under belly shot some missiles at the incoming enemies.

The black jet took a hit and flew down to the human city, a loud shriek was heard, as The jet transformed the wings folding back, two legs appearing, slamming into the concrete and making humans run for their lives. Two arms appeared, black and white cybertronian hair appearing as it blew into the wind, a masked cover face appeared. The transformer looked around to the helicopter and shot missiles at them. Then the 5 other jets transformed, the blue one transformed and did a small run shooting buildings. The purple one landed sliding taking some vehicles off the ground. The red and red and white one both transformed, and both high fived each other grinning. The space shuttled transformed and landed on the ground making it shake, as windows all exploded from the powerful sound.

The leader transformer looked around and smiled.
she looked into the half blown city, and took out her large weapon. the jets behind her also took their weapons.....as the shuttle...put his weapon into the sky..and shot...a red flare.....


as the female walks into the city, the jets following..the sky thunders...as more jets...and some large ships..appear...



This is the era of the new group...
the Decepticon mercs.
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Lunar Retturns 2
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Lunar Retturns 2


Number of posts : 6072
Registration date : 2008-05-25

Ancient Past : chapter one. Empty
PostSubject: Re: Ancient Past : chapter one.   Ancient Past : chapter one. I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 19, 2010 4:13 pm

Pro: Better than most of your other projects.

Cons: Lack of dialouge, spelling errors, spacing in between paragraphs squishes other paragraphs making it difficult to read and misuse of periods.
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